Moving again ..

I really should have written more. My last post was back in January and more recently I remember how good writing used to make me feel. Well, perhaps good is the wrong word, but it certainly made me feel better about all the hardship I was enduring. It also acts as a good reminder of… Continue Reading →

Exposing a fuck boy ..

My experiences in an abusive relationship taught me a lot, it taught me to trust my gut, protect my heart and sadly rightly or wrongly have that guard up when meeting a new man. When I first met this one back in July 2018, he was a bit of an overlap with my ex. I… Continue Reading →

Day 1 of Social Distancing

How am I going to get through these times I ask myself. I go from feeling like ‘everything is going to be ok, it’s an adventure, it’s an experience.. it’s just different and we can adapt’ … to thinking .. how will I cope? I have no normality. I had been feeling very low coming… Continue Reading →

Back in the game … kinda :-/

It’s hard to blog when your identity is no longer hidden. Whilst typing this opening sentence I decided to take the web address to this blog down from across my social media. I want to be real as possible again .. my current settings meant that the men I have been seeing (if you could… Continue Reading →

Make a difference

It was always going to be difficult and I think I got a little complacent believing that I was pretty much there, these last couple of days I feel like I have gone backwards a little bit. I am struggling to talk about it without being tearful and he is filling too much of my… Continue Reading →

Moving forward

I actually feel genuinely quite scared at the thought of entering into another proper relationship. I go from thinking ‘I can take this attention and I’ll just go back to the old me’ to ‘no fucking way stay the hell away!!’ I guess this is why I’m enjoying talking to M so much. He’s completely… Continue Reading →

Aftermath of trauma..

I am struggling. It’s all a process and ok I don’t feel as angry (apart from with the stupid interfering skank who thinks she knows the man I’ve known 4 years) but I am suffering with my own thoughts. I spoke with M again last night. It’s nice to talk to him but even that… Continue Reading →

So strange ..

The meme is right , it will take a long time to actually get to grips with the fact that this is what we’ll be. Strangers! Well almost! Until April 2018 the non-molestation order is in place and I can’t even speak to him. Will that even happen? I doubt it, I bumped into him… Continue Reading →

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