… and another weekend over.
Its been 4 weeks now since my boo was taken from me. Has it gone quick? No not really. Does it feel like it has been longer? No not really, it just feels the same. Numbness, painful and loneliness. Each day it does get easier but there is always an odd hour, evening or day where the pain feels unbearable and I wonder how I am going to cope. We have many many weeks left until this awful journey is over. BUT I have learnt to not think like that, take each day as it comes, countdown to each visit day, each week rather than the bigger picture. The bigger picture is just too much!! I still can randomly burst into tears, it helps. Sometimes I think the stored emotion just needs to be released, it does not pay to keep them wrapped up.
Tomorrow I go to Ibiza, its a feeling of mixed emotions. That one time party goer before meeting him and after has not been out in that type of environment for weeks! How am I going to react to it all? I loved nights out with him, meeting him at the end of the night for drinks, dances and the drunken walk home. It just would not be the same, I cannot even focus on enjoying myself and seeing him when I get home because he just won’t be here. I want to enjoy every minute of this holiday do not get me wrong but I will be pleased to come home, to get back to my studies, get back to some routine and more importantly get back to counting down those days.
I miss him so much!