How the 2020 love affair ended …

Tonight I had a notification that my blog had got some interest, it prompted me to write again. I read back on the old few posts and my God it is clear how manipulative, narcissistic and truly fake the man was that I spent the majority of 2020 focused on. What a waste of time.... Continue Reading →

Another one of his moods…

.. this time. I am letting him, letting him sulk and behaving like a child. I am literally telling myself, why the hell are you putting up with this?? So 3 weeks later and once again I am banging my head against a brick wall. This time, last week I was with him. Being affectionate,... Continue Reading →

I got a reply ..

I woke up this morning after a vivid dream of him ignoring me. I anxiously checked my emails despite being convinced I wouldn’t check until I got to my desk at work. He had replied! There were a couple of email exchanges and then I moved it to WhatsApp. He told me in his email... Continue Reading →

Being authentically me ..

That’s what I have done today. It was a bad day today, I haven’t cried but I have so desperately wanted to reach out to him and just say .. I miss you. I absolutely know I don’t want him romantically but it’s just not me to be so angry. I found the letter I... Continue Reading →

100 days left of 2020…

.... and what a load of shite it has been. I should have got back from Ibiza this morning, I wouldn't be feeling this overweight or this miserable about what the near future holds. Instead we are heading into the autumn season which is usually one of my favourite being unable to party like I... Continue Reading →

Exposing a fuck boy ..

My experiences in an abusive relationship taught me a lot, it taught me to trust my gut, protect my heart and sadly rightly or wrongly have that guard up when meeting a new man. When I first met this one back in July 2018, he was a bit of an overlap with my ex. I... Continue Reading →

Just a normal Sunday

Weekends are easier for me, I don’t usually do much weekends anyway. The only thing different for me really is football... although I did have a night out planned for next Saturday. That’s upsetting. I am so thankful I actually have work to do and can work from home and not everyday is like this.... Continue Reading →

That Friday feeling….. oh

It's Friday morning, Day 4 of 'soft lockdown' and I am in a different mood right now to how I felt yesterday. These emotions are so up and down, it's exactly like a break-up or a toxic relationship. Very unsettling. Maybe this sadness is added by the realisation the thing with the 'friend' has ended,... Continue Reading →

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