When I booked this presentation at a networking meeting I felt incredibly nervous. Now it’s the night before I feel completely fine.
I know what I am talking about, it’s something I feel incredibly passionate about it and in fact I am quite excited. I want to do some final notes tonight just for structure and then all is good. I had a bad morning and even when driving back from my friends house so much going through my head. I have so much to say. No one will ever understand how this type of relationship can affect you. All these words in my head, all the visions and sceneries and my voice screaming all my feelings. It’s mentally draining.
Tomorrow will be good for me. Surrounding myself with fabulous people. Talking about my experience and being heard! It’s a positive it really is.
I’ve eaten far too much this weekend. This doesn’t help my mood. If I feel fat I feel miserable. Looking forward to the week ahead however, weekend I have good plans and the trick is to keep busy. No sitting in on my own dwelling about how bad he made my life. Christmas Eve he messed about all evening after promising an early finish (from his drug dealing) he came back silly late. Christmas Day he was fucking vile to me in the evening after he wanted me to drive him to London to his mums but he was longing everyone’s life out and expected us to leave at silly time. His mum actually said it was too late, but yet I was blamed. Screaming at me in the car and when I rang his mum so she could confirm it was actually her who said to not come, he abused me some more. He threatened to go out saying he didn’t want to be around me. He expected EVERY FUCKING thing on his terms! Looking back it is insane how much I put up with.. there are no words to describe the way he treated me. No words at all and I’ll be damned if anyone ever treats me like that again!
Wish me luck for tomorrow! Exciting!
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