Who has the answers?

I’m not sure anyone does in how to combat domestic abuse in households but I sure as hell know we have more chance at doing so with the help of domestic abuse survivors than those who have never experienced it.

I have a friend who works for social services, very knowledgeable on the subject but very much social services trained in the sense of it’s quite outdated. For example she mentioned how statistically high it is when a child has witness domestic abuse growing up they are more likely to be in an abusive relationship when older. The thing is with statistics is you can make them look any way you want them too and most often based on bullshit! What about ALL the victims who never report? What about those with out any children? My report says I witnessed it as a child and despite me repeatedly telling them that is crap it remains on my file to add to their dumb statistics.

She also said how it’s difficult for SS to get to the truth as victims lie and the truth can be hidden. This isn’t about hearing the truth for social services intervention. I asked for help and I still had no help. This is about educating the fucking world about what is abuse, what isn’t ok and what constitutes a healthy relationship right from a young age. Even as a social worker and the mother admits to them yes they are being abused then what? What do social services do then!? Nothing in my case.

She also told me that not all DV (domestic violence) cases are the same! Ummm that’s also wrong, the fundamental aspects of ABUSE are all the fucking same! Textbook! All the women I speak to and it’s so refreshing it’s like we are talking about the same man! To be honest this is the same friend who told me that the latest incident is just a ‘normal cheating situation’ and that most men will do what they can get away with. That it didn’t make him a narcissist! Infidelity is abuse in itself especially when that said man will convince you you are the one going fucking crazy!

Anyway going off track now my point is that NO ONE has the right to tell you that it is easy to leave (yes she said that too) unless they’ve been in it. Worryingly it’s people like this that will not help change the stigma that is attached to it all. It’s victims and survivors who NEED to do something about it.