Tonight I actually feel like I cannot be arsed to be in this stupid relationship. My life on hold, for what! He never cared this much about me before, why has it taken this to make him realise? He only loves me as much as he does because of what I am doing for him. Standing by him on his dumb arse mistake, sitting in on a friday night just feeling miserable and cannot wait to go out next weekend to get dressed up and get that male attention I love. WTF is this!! Do I even want him home? Always here? probably getting on my pissing nerves. Argh feel so angry. I booked Ibiza this morning, going in July. Why should I go without a holiday because of him? 2015 I still need to do what I need to do to enjoy myself. I’m organising a birthday party for my 30th in November and he can’t even be there, how fucking pathetic is that?
What put me in a bad mood? His phone call! He phones me quickly before a ‘visit’, yep his mum had booked for today. I have nothing to say to that woman, my respect for her has gone. She can say all she likes to him and I won’t be surprised if she comes between us, after all won’t be the first time. His cousin did that plenty of times before! I think I just need some sleep, maybe I will feel better in the morning.
I’m not counting on it. I might not even go on sunday. Whats the point?! He’s had a visit this weekend after all!