I feel like if I don’t type I will go insane. I’ve now had to hear him scream how he hates me, how he wishes I was never pregnant and that he hates me some more. I am blamed for always creating a scene and I should never have got him from his nan’s this evening as he was happy there. He’s barely at mine for 5 minutes and his phone is going off… a number he doesn’t have saved and he’s telling him ‘yeh 2 minutes.’ I’m not fucking stupid. He’s then trying to say he’s going for a spliff. Seriously… why does that come before trying to sort things out with me?? I react… he reacts… I plead with him ‘I’m carrying your child’ he says ‘SO WHAT!’ so heartless and cold. I can’t help but slap him. How can he be so vile?? He has a serious cannabis problem, it turns him into someone I do not recognise. Actually I do recognise it now because it all happens too often.
30 minutes later and he’s calling me baby again and telling me we need to stop this! I am so exhausted!