It is now the final straw. This past week has now just done it for me. I cannot just simply cannot continue my life like this. It feels so so hard right now but I know he will be the last one laughing. His cannabis smoking effects his brain more than he will admit and he genuinely with never learn if I keep just accepting his apoliges, it’s only words. Words mean nothing from him anymore. I had wrote up to here on Saturday 28th May until the laptop was completely infuriating me… as it is again now!!!
The final straw has came after he decided to go 25 hours without so much as a phone call. I was under the impression he was coming back to mine on wednesday night but his phone was off from 8pm. 8PM!! After 2 evenings of him being around and it kind of feeling like a real relationship again he goes AWOL on me completely. Selfish isn’t even the word when I had an exam yesterday morning and I was up most of the night wondering where he was and whether he was going to make it for work. All his work stuff was here so I knew he couldn’t make his own way there. I even nearly didn’t get the 05:16 train like I had planned due to ‘just in case’ he decided to show up at mine.
After a strict talk from a friend from uni I continued my day as planned. Completed my exam without so much of a good luck from him. I still had no contact until 5pm that day to which I was told ‘the battery went dead get over it’. I then still had no attempt from him for a bigger apology. The next day came and I heard the same sorrys as I’ve always heard. I went out of my way to ignore him most of the weekend and I have definetly been stronger this week as he knows that I actually don’t really want to be with him. Every day there is something and I end up being called this that and another and how I deserve to be treated like shit. My priority is my baby and my daughter.
Only positivity from now on !! 🙂
Behind These Bluest Eyes 
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