As part of my ‘getting out there 2020 plan’ I decided to go on another date.
This one, we spoke consistently for 10 days or so. I was a bit stand-off ish to begin with but I really started to feel him. We spoke about all sorts and the conversation flowed well.
I wasn’t sure I 100% fancied him by his pics but went with it because the conversation was good. I needed to give man a chance right!?
He had a good job, properties and a conversation that led to my discovery that he had a Shark vacuum cleaner. Like wow.. a self sufficient man.. attractive! I will call him Sharky.
Well today … I was blocked. No warning.. just blocked.
Luckily I don’t feel so bad, yet. I feel like it saved me the job from being so brutal but the behaviour is interesting. The mind games is crazy.
The conversations ticked all the boxes we discussed ex’s, he asked if I was seeing anyone. I told him about the situationship to which he told me that no way would he treat me like a booty call, he wants to take me out and have fun etc. Who wants that when you can have a friendship and enjoy each other’s company too, makes sense. It was all so genuine. Well it seemed it.
On the actual date, I had so much fun. He was SO in to me, we played some pool drank some beer and talked a lot. My debrief to my friends was , ‘shorter than I’d like, he talked a lot about himself and his energy was similar to an excited child’ but I genuinely felt excited about what our future held. Comments about how mad it was that we got on so well and looking back he needed reassurance about whether the feeling was mutual. He even said I didn’t give much off, good for me to know really since in my head I’m planning my wedding! All in all the date made me feel very sexy and very good about myself. We kissed a lot and it all felt so natural and comfortable.
Anyway we made plans to go gym and for him to pick me up Saturday after my night out. Omg the amount of shit that he came out with. Day after the date he came over after the sexual chemistry was still building up massively and I was so excited.
But …. it was not a positive experience. For me! Poor sharky struggled and even when he wasn’t struggling it didn’t do much for me. I was just thinking ‘For Fuck Sake’ whilst trying to pretend it was working. He had to keep stopping so it wasn’t over, it was fumbly and a bit awkward. He left and I was unsatisfied. He text love heart eyes as soon as he left telling me he couldn’t wait for Saturday.
Can’t wait to give it to u proper u made me bust so quickly
He owned it, I sighed and tried to think of the positives.
I woke in the morning feeling gutted it wasn’t as I had dreamed but actually gave him benefit of the doubt. I was truthful with my friends as we all always are. He commented about his lack of sex and he knew that he didn’t do very well so I figured maybe just a first time blip. Everything else was there.. I should keep seeing him have fun, be taken out etc etc. We spoke all day yesterday and I sent the last message last night. With no real urge to message him but doing so to consider his feelings, I went to this evening and yes I WAS BLOCKED! I used my work phone to send him a message and blocked him myself!
It is insane behaviour!
Was it all a plan, a game.. the whole thing? Is he even who he says he is? Maybe he’s skint and doesn’t have a job (his Range Rover suggests differently) .. perhaps a girlfriend. Maybe he’s embarrassed and to protect his ego at my lack of messages today he wanted to get in there first? I will never know … as if I swallowed though. In hindsight that man did not deserve that!
Anyway luckily I don’t actually feel rejected, I don’t feel upset. I just remind myself ‘what is this teaching me?’ And sadly it teaching me more so … DO NOT TRUST WORDS!!