Tag: healthy

Posted in Singlemum

What is a Bullet Journal?

Posted on by KerryLouise

When I first was told about this concept I took one look at it and thought WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. However that was when the link just took me to pages and pages of codes and words that I didn’t quite understand!

That was until I found Pinterest. Wow! The idea of all those pretty colours and clear (almmost) organisation got me hooked.

I’ve had a paper diary for as long as I can remember. If I don’t write things down I will forget. I have a day to page one now for work, which is super shiny and fabulous and from paperchase (of course).I’ve always got a notepad on the go too. I love stationary! I am very very visual and when I’ve tried to be organised in the past or got a holiday countdown and want to track my fitness. I get addicted to draw graphs and plans. My notebooks end up being just a big mess of scribbles and I lose the pages I wish to keep for ‘blog ideas’ or ‘quotes I like’ or ‘ideas for my book.’ The ideas for my book is a biggy, I often get hit with triggers regarding the abuse I have been a victim too and its like a light goes in my head and I am like ‘oh yeh.’

So for me the bullet journal idea is fab!

I could use it for work but to be honest for what I do I need a proper diary so that is staying, plus it was expensive and a Christmas present. Some people use it for work and personal but I’m sticking to just personal.

I even FaceTimed my equally enthused bullet journal sister and we spent an hour sorting our first pages out together. It was comforting and fun.

I decided I needed to go straight in and start, over thinking it would put me off another week (as it did my sister) and so be it if I go wrong. It adds character right! Like how I got all confused and put that November had 31 days so now December is all wrong, but hey ho.

I bought a notebook that has dots and page numbers already noted. It has an index page too. The dots are great for drawing lines.

It is lacking colour at the moment but I want some colouring pencils to help with that.

The beauty is it doesn’t matter if there’s no order because it’s meant to be random. It’s meant to be unique. I’m excited to use it more and really get in control of my life.

I’m sure I’ll add to it and change it as well which is fine. I plan to be super organised now and waste less time. I WASTE FAR TOO MUCH!

It’s going to help with my book writing, my studying and my half marathon training. I also plan to get more bloody sleep and eat much much better.

2018 Goals – TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF ME

Watch this space. Anyone got any bullet journal blogs?

Would love to read xx

Posted in DomesticAbuse

Never good enough

Posted on by KerryLouise

…this is how I feel. This is how I felt pre abuse too. People like me are like gold mines for people like him. Low self esteem, low self worth, easy to get entangled inside our minds.

I’ve had no iPhone all week and now it’s gone off for repair. I have a replacement now and oh my life it took security and a half to get it back sorted with all my stuff.

Having no phone has been pretty disastrous on my mental space. No distractions, no communications just my own thoughts. Why did he do that stuff to me? Why is he still denying the severity of it? I know just know I shouldn’t be thinking like this but I cannot shake it at all.

I’m almost adamant that my ‘date’ if I can even call it that will cancel today. I assumed I would have at least a snap from him when I got my phone back but no. I should stick to my guns, he’s already pushed my boundaries enough. He’s been rude at times, and he clearly no longer feels the same way as when we first spoke back in jan through to March. I agreed to meet him as I really want this conversation face to face but it’s making me uneasy. Even if he does come, he’s going to hurt me, going to lose interest it is inevitable.

I didn’t start today in a good place (well yesterday considering it’s now 5 in the morning). My baby was up during the previous night and when she gets on one boy she screams so bad! I swear the neighbours think I must be doing all sorts. I even got paranoid thinking next door called the police on me! People doubting I am a good mum. Once I stopped trying to leave her in her cot she was wide awake and giggling and saying ‘mumma ‘ … melts me!

Then my eldest had barely any pack up for school because she ate it night before, and went to school without her Christmas jumper all things I felt bad for. 2018 will be about organisation and that goes for my eldest daughter too.

Finally spoke to M he was concerned as my phone had been off. My mind is telling me today to stop being a fool he’s only talking to me because he’s in jail and got no one else. I’m also telling my self that despite the young one having personal issues I still fell for a lot of bullshit there too and that needs to be cut off. I need to work on this as it will only keep happening. My head is not good today, I’m questioning all the recent friendships I’ve made. What’s their alternative motive? It can’t be the reasons they are saying.

I am going to try and sleep some more and hope I wake in a better mood.

Posted in Uncategorized

‘I love a good heatwave’ .. Said no pregnant woman ever! 

Posted on by KerryLouise

OMG !! I cannot cope. Walking from the car to the school is like a military operation and the chafing on my inner thighs is actually a real problem.

I miss my toned long legs .. They have been replaced by thighs that have dimples and knees that look like elephant knees!! I think it reached 33 degrees today, stupidily uncomfortable for someone who is 32 weeks pregnant. I used baby powder to ease the chafing, it helped slightly. My underwear is uncomfortable too! I do feel I need to have some damage control now! 7 weeks left and I cannot get any bigger ! Bump is ok yes .. But legs and arms .. No! It’s uncomfortable and unattractive! I have been a bit reckless recently .. Like 3 cookies today ! WHOOPS! 

I sat in my underwear with the fan on me whilst looking at how gorgeous my man is and thought ‘how the fuck does he still fancy me’ .. He doesn’t go a day without calling me beautiful .. I wish I felt it! As beautiful as a rhino!! 

Tomorrow is healthy eating/limit on junk mission. I have another scan tomorrow too, can’t wait to see how big she is now. 

I’ve not wrote as much this week. I got my uni results last Friday and they were worse than expected .. I knew I still had to do ‘well’ in my final project to receive that commendation I had been working towards. However after the results I worked out I basically have to do ‘super well’ now. Pissed off with myself for letting things get in the way this year , pissed off I had ‘just want to pass’ attitude and pissed off that Dominic doesn’t take any responsibility. Hey ho such is life and he did say he is proud of me no matter what. Like many have also said how most would have probably dropped uni with everything I dealt with too so should be proud.

I had some good news though and my tutor worked out I need to get 69% rather than the 73% I initially thought. I can do that! I need to do that! Or else I will forever let it get to me that I didn’t receive that commendation. 

Well .. Think I may have a snack before tomorrow is here. I will blog my food diary and it won’t include 3 Cadbury flakes in a row .. No.. No it won’t! (That was last Friday)