I feel so angry I don’t even know where to start. My mother is to blame! Who else? Our relationship isn’t that great, mainly due to how different we both are, oh and let’s not forget that growing up she was only ever bitter and unsupportive when he came to my dad.
So I told her the news on Monday. I knew I wouldn’t get her approval but I couldn’t keep it from her forever! Saying things like ‘ex con, too young and he has no job’ was the start of the digs regarding the father of my baby. She came round somewhat and just admitted she worries about me. Perfectly normal. Tonight she started again, her words are vile. ‘What you going to do if this don’t work out, have another one with the next man?’ I have a 7 year old daughter from a previous relationship, in where she fails to recognise I have brought her up with very little financial support from her father. My mother obviously sees me as someone who should appear on Jeremy Kyle just because I’m having a baby with another man. She needs to wake up, it’s 2016! Families come in all shapes, sizes and colours and just because she had a second baby in an already failing relationship just so her kids had the same dad doesn’t mean that is right for everyone. She then felt the need to tell me that none of her friends would think this is a good idea. Like I give a shit what her friends think, what a strange comment to make. I’m 30 years old and I’m not about to listen to the opinions of middle aged women who I’m sure do not either have perfect families in perfect situations! What ever is perfect? My boyfriend idolises me and me him. Yes he has some growing up to do but what man doesn’t?! I always wanted a second child and it was never going to be with the same man as before. Life is about love and making life and memories. My baby will be loved so much and that’s what matters.
Tuesday morning I had a bleed. It was minimal but it came as a shock as I never experienced this with my first pregnancy. I have an early scan tomorrow, I feel so nervous and anxious. I hope he’s ok in there! Nausea has gone but the hunger is here completely, oh and the tiredness! When symptoms relax this worries me too. First day of lent and I’m giving up wheat and sugar, day 1 has been successful there but I’ve gone over my calorie allowance. Well I’m about too with these oatcakes and dairylea!! I’m tooooo hungry to ignore it!!