Change of plan .. 

So following on from day 2 I woke on day 3 feeling slightly better. I got up and felt determined that I would have a good day, get the juice down me and all would feel fine. However this wasn’t the case, I got the juice all ready and again the smell and the thought made my stomach turn! Something in the back of my mind was screaming at me that this wasn’t right! My friend also following the plan had messaged saying she had quite enjoyed her juice, I was envious of this fact! Ok so.. Hunger, small weight gain, bigger boobs…. Hmmm ., but no cant be I only risked not taking the pill for like 3 days! Surely not!! I sent the other half to grab a test thinking it would just come back negative and I could move on from the idea I was experiencing morning sickness and it was just the pineapple skin that had made me sick after all! 

Oh For Fuck SAKE!! Two big pink lines appeared in front of me almost immediately. I was so sure it was just a precautionary method and I would be sighing with relief, I was wrong. Ok I had to calm down, my other half was sat on the bath unsure what to say to me whilst I cried and repeated ‘I’m fucking pregnant’ and ‘we are just not ready.’ I could see his eyes, he really wants children. It’s ok for him, he keeps his body, he can continue as normal drinking and eating what he likes! ‘I still want to party’ I muttered selfishly , ‘my career isn’t established yet, this just isn’t right.’ My goodness!! Scared!! I knew deep down that a termination would never be an option, our relationship wouldnt survive that and to be honest I wouldn’t want to go through that awful procedure again anyway. Babies are a blessing especially when two people are in love as much as we are ! 

So we’re having a baby !!! 

Hardly anyone knows yet (including my parents) it’s going to be tough explaining this because the situation isn’t exactly ideal but when ever is ideal?! Yesterday morning I woke at 5am again so much going through my mind. I did manage a spin class and 5k on the treadmill tho, mysteriously lots of energy for the morning until I crashed at 2pm. 

Anyway I am now swaying towards what a great idea it is. Now is almost a more perfect time than if I had waited. I’m at university studying for a graduate diploma in law which will finish in May. Baby be due in September, my training contract (which I still need to apply for) won’t start till 2018 that then lasts 2 years and can hardly get pregnant as soon as I qualify in 2020. Based on these calculations were looking at 35 years old plus, not what I would want! Higher risks, harder to get shape back after and can even struggle to conceive! Now is perfect. I’m under no illusion that it will be easy but I am beginning to get excited now, this is the last time I’m doing this so I best try and enjoy it!! Try!! 

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