Posted in Singlemum

What is a Bullet Journal?

When I first was told about this concept I took one look at it and thought WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. However that was when the link just took me to pages and pages of codes and words that I didn’t quite understand!

That was until I found Pinterest. Wow! The idea of all those pretty colours and clear (almmost) organisation got me hooked.

I’ve had a paper diary for as long as I can remember. If I don’t write things down I will forget. I have a day to page one now for work, which is super shiny and fabulous and from paperchase (of course).I’ve always got a notepad on the go too. I love stationary! I am very very visual and when I’ve tried to be organised in the past or got a holiday countdown and want to track my fitness. I get addicted to draw graphs and plans. My notebooks end up being just a big mess of scribbles and I lose the pages I wish to keep for ‘blog ideas’ or ‘quotes I like’ or ‘ideas for my book.’ The ideas for my book is a biggy, I often get hit with triggers regarding the abuse I have been a victim too and its like a light goes in my head and I am like ‘oh yeh.’

So for me the bullet journal idea is fab!

I could use it for work but to be honest for what I do I need a proper diary so that is staying, plus it was expensive and a Christmas present. Some people use it for work and personal but I’m sticking to just personal.

I even FaceTimed my equally enthused bullet journal sister and we spent an hour sorting our first pages out together. It was comforting and fun.

I decided I needed to go straight in and start, over thinking it would put me off another week (as it did my sister) and so be it if I go wrong. It adds character right! Like how I got all confused and put that November had 31 days so now December is all wrong, but hey ho.

I bought a notebook that has dots and page numbers already noted. It has an index page too. The dots are great for drawing lines.

It is lacking colour at the moment but I want some colouring pencils to help with that.

The beauty is it doesn’t matter if there’s no order because it’s meant to be random. It’s meant to be unique. I’m excited to use it more and really get in control of my life.

I’m sure I’ll add to it and change it as well which is fine. I plan to be super organised now and waste less time. I WASTE FAR TOO MUCH!

It’s going to help with my book writing, my studying and my half marathon training. I also plan to get more bloody sleep and eat much much better.

2018 Goals – TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF ME

Watch this space. Anyone got any bullet journal blogs?

Would love to read xx

Posted in pregnancy, pregnant, relationships, Uncategorized

8 days to go!!

After my post last night I felt quite strong, I had laid it all out and felt positive I could get through it no matter the outcome. Then I wake up…. I try call him around 10am and no answer so instantly I feel shit again. I want to send him a message just going mad but I just need to realise that that doesn’t get me anywhere. I knew he’d be sleeping but it still gets to me as i’m thinking ‘what if I was in labour.’ My friend said I do need to chill, and I agree. When he finally got back to me about 12:30 you could tell he was expecting a reaction from me, but I didn’t give it… I was calm.

This evening we spoke abit before we went to the cinema, he’s assured me that all the wild crazy thoughts of what he gets up to is just that. Crazy and wild. My fear of him returning to prison has made me into someone he rather not be around and his thoughts of me with someone else has made him want to hurt me the way he felt hurt. It’s all been a mess.

Anyway obviously I understand that this can all be words. I’m under no illusion that he may still continue like this when she’s here but I have to just see what happens. My focus is and still will be me and my girls. Although I am gagging for a night out , a bit of party therapy may stop me from being so bitter about other people being able to drink haha.

Feet feel swollen tonight… having a few tightening’s and lower cramps but I’m not getting my hopes up. Still full of a cold, Doctor told me it would be cleared up by weekend. Well Doc ….. its still here!! MEH!!

I found my old Slimming World book today during some more nesting as they call it. Basically my waist when Courtney was 6 weeks old is the same size it is now at 39 weeks pregnant. I cannot believe how different this pregnancy has been. I’m excited for her to be here and for the weight loss challenge.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

Fat Friday

Diet: Bad   Relationship: Good   Mood: OK

Another hot stuffy day, I was promised rain and it did not deliver. Looking at the forecast there is no rain for the forseeable future either. I want rain, I need it to be cooler. I’m still super lucky that I havent had any swelling. My feet still look normal sized, amazing since I’m now nearly 33 weeks pregnant and I had bad feet from around 25 weeks last time.

I do feel fed up every now and again. When I’m thinking about how long left and how much bigger I will get. I just avoid mirrors and that helps the situation. I saw an old work friend today and she was shocked at how little time I had left so I took that as a positive.

My sister and I took our little girls to an American diner today where one of my other sisters works. I did eat alot, starters which included mozzerella sticks, breaded chilli peoppers and breaded mushrooms. My main was a chicken, chips and coleslaw, then of course a hot chocolate fudge cake with cream for dessert. I couldn’t move for a while after and I swear I grew in size. In my defence other than that all I had was a bowel of frosted shreddies, good job really as even now 7 hours laer I still couldnt eat again.

I had sex this morning when Dominic got in from work. We’ve gone from every day to like maybe once a week if he’s lucky. My sex drive was insane at the beginning, now I actually have no desire. I do look at it him and think corrr but I just enjoy admiring him from a distance, my growing bump and inability to move quickly just makes sex feel like a chore rather than an enjoyable past time. When we hit 37 weeks though, I’ll do it ALL the time!! I’ll want this baby out!! We actually had no arguments today, he did get funny about me going out to eat earlier, tried to make me feel guilty but he doesn’t think of me when he’s spent all night in a night club so I wasn’t going to buy into his sob story. He soon got over it, he needs his sleep anyway working nights.

The flat across the road is becoming a real problem. This week alone I’ve told them at 11pm to keep music down. Then Dominic has told them twice, once last night at 9:30pm just before I took him to work and once this evening at 7:30pm. I just heard music again at nearly midnight. Tried to get their attention but failed, luckily it has stopped now. I MUST call enviromental health on Monday, I actually wonder how they even ever got planning permission for these flats. When we bought this flat over 9 years ago I was told the building opposite was listed and flats would never be built because they were too close…surely I can sue someone somewhere! Getting pissed off now, wouldn’t be so bad if the flats were like ours but they are clearly all housing association. Just last night there were 4 police cars in the street, an ambulance and a stupid woman crying drama, then the issue the other week with all the kids in the street. Hmmmm. I shall do my research.

 

Posted in Uncategorized

30 weeks pregnant !!

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Cant believe I’ve hit the 30 week mark now. Baby girl could come as early as just 7 weeks away … I doubt it tho! If she’s anything like her daddy she will come in October! No joke!

Baby has been super active this evening. It is incredible how she’s just inside me .. Chilling … Giving me a nudge every so often! I love it!

I’ve had a good day really, mood has been ok. It’s my friends birthday tomorrow and I had agreed to join them in Birmingham tomorrow lunch. After Friday I thought what a stupid idea it was as I struggle walking around my local Tesco but I’m going to go! It’s a social event and I think it would do me good.

The picture above is a comparison of how I looked this time last year compared to now. What a difference , it is a little depressing but I don’t feel so bad about it as I thought I would. I’m growing my baby girl and that’s amazing. Plus I know I’ll get back to my original size , that’s my motivation !

I figured my post tonight would be regarding the mother in law. I’ve had quite  a long conversation with my boyfriends sister today and it brought up loads of memories regarding her behaviour last year which has constituted to us not getting on. She has clearly admitted to people she doesn’t like me, and I’m pretty sure her only reason is that she is far too protective over her precious son so much so that she doesn’t want any woman to have him! Behave !! I’ve left it too late to get into it all right now but I will. I do wonder how she’ll be with her grandaughter when she’s here. It’s going to be interesting that’s for sure !!