A woman who got lost whilst in love. My story of dealing with domestic abuse and the aftermath.
.... I signed up to the half marathon in September! This time no one can get in the way of my training. It did actually pop into my head earlier about how unreliable he was. "Baby I got you, were a team, you are my world. 100% I will be there in the morning so... Continue Reading →
Once again I fell asleep in the evening and have woke up feeling meh. I've been awake an hour and I've just been feeling really negative. So I need to switch that up! The negatives is of course him, and also the thinking of 'what ifs'. I would never ever wish my daughter away, I... Continue Reading →
I look back in time at me! I can see me, crying, hurt, broken and so so confused. I want to inject me with self worth, I want to tell me that I was never ever ever the problem, it was always him.
A week on Monday I am presenting my presentation on boundaries to a group of fellow networkers. I've distanced myself from reading all about narcissism and abuse for a few days. It got too much, and I felt I was reliving too much of the abuse. He's an abusive man there are no two ways... Continue Reading →
I know deep down you wanted everything you promised to be, but there is something so innately toxic and negative about everything you do, that your promises and love was never ever sustainable. You'll do everything you could to blame me, but I wasn't to blame I never was.
Took the police 5 weeks to catch up with him. 5 weeks!! I warned him he needed to do it before we had our social services meeting, despite his promises he just didn't. Scared he was going to jail he told me. I did not think it would come to that! Just did not. I... Continue Reading →
Day 3 without seeing him, why am I feeling crazy?? I've done this before .. ! Woke up this morning feeling sad, just wanted to call him. I told myself I needed to go the whole day.. Then he calls. For fuck sake! He misses me, he's gone too far this time, he isn't giving... Continue Reading →
.. And I can see that now. That addiction is in the form of a man. A man who has treated me so so badly yet I cannot for the life of me seem to break the cycle. I love him. I love him too much. My last post showed some strength. He went to... Continue Reading →
Last night I couldn't believe the difference a week had made. I saw him yesterday but I stayed very strong. The week before I was still waiting on him to move heaven on earth for me after yet another cheating episode. Then when it got to the evening and I knew he went back to... Continue Reading →
I woke up yesterday with a sickness bug. I hate being sick. I hate it even more when I have no one around me to take care of me. It made me feel emotional, I couldn't believe it was now entering the fourth day without contact with the ex. How was he feeling?! Does he... Continue Reading →
Behind These Bluest Eyes 