At times I can take a step back and analyse the situation. There is no doubt in my mind that my abuser is a extreme narcissist. It is so deep rooted that I don't even have to feel concerns that to everyone else he is respectful and honest because he isn't. He has no consideration... Continue Reading →
Only a quick one tonight, I had many thoughts going through my head today so I wanted to record them somewhere. Mostly some pointers for future blogs as right now I don't really have the time to go into them in depth. I wanted to talk about the 'other' side of my abuser. My previous... Continue Reading →
Reminding myself …
Today is a weird fucking day.. felt anxious and weird for most of it! It didn't help that I fell asleep early last night and woke up unable to sleep until like 2am! 5:45am my alarm was set and just got back in at 9:45pm!! Day in London on a course for work, traffic was... Continue Reading →
Party Day !!
Tonight is my birthday party that I’m having with my sister. I can’t wait to dress up and drink and have some fun!! It’s now day 4 with no contact at all (again) and when things are drama free, calm and tranquil it’s bloody confusing for me! It feels alien and it’s these early stages... Continue Reading →
It’s not fair
That’s all I’m feeling like this morning. If I still had his number I would call him again and say all this to him! But what’s the point! I had to delete it again yesterday. He’ll listen, agree and say he’s going to change his life around but it’s bullshit. He’s still dealing drugs now... Continue Reading →
Happy F’ing Friday!
Who knew that within a space of 48 hours I can go from shouting at the mother in law to actually crying to her and wanting her advice. Today he had his same miserable grumpy head on and his vileness just made me completely snap. Lets not forget he completely let me down last night... Continue Reading →
It's 3:30am and I am wide awake because I feel so angry. This is why I care less, it just makes this bullshit easier to cope with and then as soon as I let my guard down slightly I get fucked over once again! Dominic totally over-reacted earlier because I didn't want to facetime, he's... Continue Reading →
30 weeks pregnant !!
Cant believe I've hit the 30 week mark now. Baby girl could come as early as just 7 weeks away ... I doubt it tho! If she's anything like her daddy she will come in October! No joke! Baby has been super active this evening. It is incredible how she's just inside me .. Chilling... Continue Reading →