What ifs ..

Once again I fell asleep in the evening and have woke up feeling meh. I've been awake an hour and I've just been feeling really negative. So I need to switch that up! The negatives is of course him, and also the thinking of 'what ifs'. I would never ever wish my daughter away, I... Continue Reading →

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Argggghhhhhhhhh….

Day 3 without seeing him, why am I feeling crazy?? I've done this before .. !  Woke up this morning feeling sad, just wanted to call him. I told myself I needed to go the whole day.. Then he calls. For fuck sake! He misses me, he's gone too far this time, he isn't giving... Continue Reading →

A day without crying ? 

I woke up yesterday with a sickness bug. I hate being sick. I hate it even more when I have no one around me to take care of me. It made me feel emotional, I couldn't believe it was now entering the fourth day without contact with the ex. How was he feeling?! Does he... Continue Reading →

How am I feeling? 

The question on all my friends and families lips right now... how do you answer such a question when each hour my feelings change so much ? I feel weak, then remind myself what he's put me through and realise weak I am definitely not. My world was falling apart when my baby was just... Continue Reading →

I was desperate

So many emotions , so little calories consumed and many tears. He did come home after day 6, denying he was at the girls house. He came in at 2am, I stuck to my word and did not succumb to his sorrys and pleas. I would not fall for it again and have sex with... Continue Reading →

Day 5

Woke up at my friends house and felt quite strong. I think it surprised her and we spoke about it. I agreed that him not having anyone made it easier but equally I've learnt from the last time!  I went home about midday and I was greeted by the vile character again. Moaning how I... Continue Reading →

Day 4

The first day I went over on my calories... I still ate less than 1500 but my exercise wasn't great and so I didn't have enough in the bank. I am already feeling slimmer though so this is fabulous!  Ex came to see me today, oh how sorry he is, how he can't lose me,... Continue Reading →

Day 3

I was a bit drunk to write this before I went to bed. I skipped dinner and went for the wine instead. 852 calories consumed in total and 7,151 steps. Amazing what stress and anxiety has done for my diet!  So my gut was correct. The last 2 weeks he was cheating on me again!!... Continue Reading →

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