Another ending, new beginning and a block. 

The ‘affair’ officially ended over 2 weeks ago. I had seen him again, it went back to ‘normal’ for about 3 days. I realised quite quickly I didn’t feel the same, too much had happened and he just bored me. Even the sex bored me. It still hurts that he never responded to my message that outed him regarding the birth of his child. I had worked it all out, it all made sense. His son was born during the time we had been seeing each other. Like why not just be honest with me, like I had been the whole time. It still hurts and I do miss him, well no I miss what we had. If my man was home it would be him I wanted. No one else would get a look in, it felt so natural with him though. It’s upsetting to think it’s done, but it’s for the best.

The drug dealer guy got blocked tonight, he made some unnecessary comments regarding childcare for children pre-school and instead of apologising for offending me he acted like a complete child. Again, it’s better I don’t have him in my life. I never got that feeling about him, the one I got with the other one, the ‘what if’ feeling. I didn’t fancy him like I do my man, or even the affair guy for that fact. He was just handy for company. Could easily chill with him, and I definitely wouldn’t want to have sex with him. No one can please me like my man can…. I also worked out that I’ve been blocked, no idea why!!! It’s shit like this makes me realise I am better off where I am! I just want him home.

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