Running – Behind These Bluest Eyes

What is a Bullet Journal?

Posted on January 23, 2018January 23, 2018 by KerryLouise

When I first was told about this concept I took one look at it and thought WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. However that was when the link just took me to pages and pages of codes and words that I didn’t quite understand!

That was until I found Pinterest. Wow! The idea of all those pretty colours and clear (almmost) organisation got me hooked.

I’ve had a paper diary for as long as I can remember. If I don’t write things down I will forget. I have a day to page one now for work, which is super shiny and fabulous and from paperchase (of course).I’ve always got a notepad on the go too. I love stationary! I am very very visual and when I’ve tried to be organised in the past or got a holiday countdown and want to track my fitness. I get addicted to draw graphs and plans. My notebooks end up being just a big mess of scribbles and I lose the pages I wish to keep for ‘blog ideas’ or ‘quotes I like’ or ‘ideas for my book.’ The ideas for my book is a biggy, I often get hit with triggers regarding the abuse I have been a victim too and its like a light goes in my head and I am like ‘oh yeh.’

So for me the bullet journal idea is fab!

I could use it for work but to be honest for what I do I need a proper diary so that is staying, plus it was expensive and a Christmas present. Some people use it for work and personal but I’m sticking to just personal.

I even FaceTimed my equally enthused bullet journal sister and we spent an hour sorting our first pages out together. It was comforting and fun.

I decided I needed to go straight in and start, over thinking it would put me off another week (as it did my sister) and so be it if I go wrong. It adds character right! Like how I got all confused and put that November had 31 days so now December is all wrong, but hey ho.

I bought a notebook that has dots and page numbers already noted. It has an index page too. The dots are great for drawing lines.

It is lacking colour at the moment but I want some colouring pencils to help with that.

The beauty is it doesn’t matter if there’s no order because it’s meant to be random. It’s meant to be unique. I’m excited to use it more and really get in control of my life.

I’m sure I’ll add to it and change it as well which is fine. I plan to be super organised now and waste less time. I WASTE FAR TOO MUCH!

It’s going to help with my book writing, my studying and my half marathon training. I also plan to get more bloody sleep and eat much much better.

2018 Goals – TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF ME

Watch this space. Anyone got any bullet journal blogs?

Would love to read xx

DomesticAbuse, single mum, singlemum, Singlemum

Seeing things more clearly ..

Posted on October 21, 2017 by KerryLouise

I’ve had a good day and I’m even feeling ok about being alone tonight. I went into town earlier and I bought a few items. Crazy how just shopping can bring back nasty vile memories of the man I was insanely in love with.

Bin bags! Yes bin bags … I remember buying a cheaper brand and they weren’t very good. Despite explaining that he should put less rubbish in them, every single time he realised it was a crap bin bag I was blamed for buying cheap shit. Huffing and puffing and aggressive in nature whilst he spills rubbish all over the floor. Even if he wasn’t directly blaming me he sure as hell did a good job in indirectly making me feel like I had done something wrong yet again! Same with washing up gloves, they were thrown in the bin for being disgusting and he often told me I couldn’t wash up. I didn’t ever do it right. Then when the washing up built up he would scream out that clearly he’s the only one who ever washes up around here. Anything he could find to abuse me he would.

I also bought baby a pumpkin outfit for Halloween. It’s just a bit of fun. Last year I bought her a witch outfit, phoning her dad to tell him was never my intention to end in a row. I was screamed at for never listening to him and that his daughter can’t celebrate Halloween. He told me to get off his fucking phone and somehow the conversation developed into a slamming match regarding me not putting him on her birth certificate. A new mum excited about a little outfit I had bought ended in tears pain and anger. Everything that reminds me of him is literally poison. Any happy memory will also correlate with a bad one. Why did I put up with it so much??

I had a conversation with a graphic designer today, I am really excited about my book. I actually spoke to her about my situation without any tears. This is so positive. I am healing!

Diet, exercise, Running, training

Easing myself in ..

Posted on January 15, 2016 by KerryLouise

Tuesday, Wednesday AND Thursday this week I ran for an average of 20 minutes. Well I say ran, it wasn’t a full 20 min run, it was 1 min running, 1 min fast walking. Like my app told me. It did something though I could feel it the next day, just goes to show how out of it I am at the moment.

Today the app told me to brisk walk 1.6km, i smashed that due to a leafleting job I was on. I can’t believe how many hills I had to climb either. In total I covered a 12km distance and fully deserved my tea of chicken and rice.

I’m trying to fight the urge to not go to the shop. My craving for Dr Pepper is insane right now. I can’t wait for these cravings to stop. Sunday I am leafleting again so it justifies the fact I cannot get to the gym all weekend. Next week diet must be better!!

Uncategorized

My jeans don’t fit !! 😩

Posted on January 12, 2016 by KerryLouise

I knew I had caused SOME damage but pulling up my size 10 high waisted jeans, today showed me exactly how much damage! I couldn’t do them up!

Has that stopped me eating?! Nope!! I have been worse today than yesterday!! Worse today than Saturday even. Feeling pretty miserable about it. I can’t have my jeans not fitting me!

I did complete my first run this morning. It wasn’t far but it was what the Nike+ app had instructed me to do for my training plan. It went better than expected but as I assumed a lot of work needed. Writing today off and tomorrow is a new day. Goodbye Sugar you evil substance!!!