I look back in time at me! I can see me, crying, hurt, broken and so so confused. I want to inject me with self worth, I want to tell me that I was never ever ever the problem, it was always him.
They do more harm than good…
... in some situations. Like I don't want to knock the whole service as I completely understand how over stretched and over worked they are but in my case and for my family they have done absolutely nothing. They have been completely no benefit at all. Social Services! The scary thing is I spoke up,... Continue Reading →
She set her boundaries and rebuilt her life
A week on Monday I am presenting my presentation on boundaries to a group of fellow networkers. I've distanced myself from reading all about narcissism and abuse for a few days. It got too much, and I felt I was reliving too much of the abuse. He's an abusive man there are no two ways... Continue Reading →
A Queen will always turn pain into power
I can't even explain how good it feels to not have that constant awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was wearing me down, wearing me down so bad. Imagine hearing the bull shit I love you's whilst still being disrespected and still hoping for the man to step up and be a... Continue Reading →
The Truth will Conquer
I've had a good day today. Well better than still can be expected. It really is always a rollercoaster of emotions. Spoke to M last night for ages. It's so nice to actually chat with someone and just get on. He makes jokes about me being his girl and we talk about life before. I... Continue Reading →
Seeing things more clearly ..
I’ve had a good day and I’m even feeling ok about being alone tonight. I went into town earlier and I bought a few items. Crazy how just shopping can bring back nasty vile memories of the man I was insanely in love with. Bin bags! Yes bin bags ... I remember buying a cheaper... Continue Reading →
Day 1
So I'm back at Day 1 on that rollercoaster that is dieting ! I've gained 7lb since May and it's purely down to the fact I can't just eat in moderation. If I have 1 cookie I see it as a failure so eat 6. It's a mad mentality. It needs to come back down,... Continue Reading →
Argggghhhhhhhhh….
Day 3 without seeing him, why am I feeling crazy?? I've done this before .. ! Woke up this morning feeling sad, just wanted to call him. I told myself I needed to go the whole day.. Then he calls. For fuck sake! He misses me, he's gone too far this time, he isn't giving... Continue Reading →
Getting there ..Â
Last night I couldn't believe the difference a week had made. I saw him yesterday but I stayed very strong. The week before I was still waiting on him to move heaven on earth for me after yet another cheating episode. Then when it got to the evening and I knew he went back to... Continue Reading →
A day without crying ?Â
I woke up yesterday with a sickness bug. I hate being sick. I hate it even more when I have no one around me to take care of me. It made me feel emotional, I couldn't believe it was now entering the fourth day without contact with the ex. How was he feeling?! Does he... Continue Reading →
Behind These Bluest Eyes 