My little cutie went to the cinema for the first time today. Good as gold as per usual. My sister had to change a very explosive nappy though and she did feed on both boobs. She’s still a little angel.
Her daddy text in the afternoon asking how we both were. He said he wasn’t coming straight from work, that’s fine I replied and when he called you could tell he didn’t understand my relaxed attitude when I said I had made new plans too. I don’t want to stop him from seeing us but if he can’t stick to a time then that gives me the option to be unavailable and can keep him at a distance. He needs to miss us.
We spoke later on and he mentioned how he had been talking with someone from work who said how I must be lonely. He never wanted me to feel lonely or unloved apparently. It’s inevitable though and I just commented that I’m used to being alone, I just miss him. It was a pleasant phone call and I feel ok. Sometimes my mind wanders and I think about him with her and all the lies and deceit but that does me no favours and I’m only punishing myself.
I sent him some words to think about …
Tomorrow I weigh myself. Last Wednesday I began a no gluten or sugar diet and I’ve found it pretty easy. Today I had sugar though at the cinema but hey ho. Can’t be perfect. I’ve had two comments today about weight loss and I am definitely feeling more confident in myself.
Literally buzzing for a night out with my friends on my birthday. Ordered a dress last night and I cannot wait to get fully dressed up again. Fingers crossed I just feel super fabulous by then ❤️
Behind These Bluest Eyes 
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