.... I signed up to the half marathon in September! This time no one can get in the way of my training. It did actually pop into my head earlier about how unreliable he was. "Baby I got you, were a team, you are my world. 100% I will be there in the morning so... Continue Reading →
What ifs ..
Once again I fell asleep in the evening and have woke up feeling meh. I've been awake an hour and I've just been feeling really negative. So I need to switch that up! The negatives is of course him, and also the thinking of 'what ifs'. I would never ever wish my daughter away, I... Continue Reading →
They do more harm than good…
... in some situations. Like I don't want to knock the whole service as I completely understand how over stretched and over worked they are but in my case and for my family they have done absolutely nothing. They have been completely no benefit at all. Social Services! The scary thing is I spoke up,... Continue Reading →
The Truth will Conquer
I've had a good day today. Well better than still can be expected. It really is always a rollercoaster of emotions. Spoke to M last night for ages. It's so nice to actually chat with someone and just get on. He makes jokes about me being his girl and we talk about life before. I... Continue Reading →
I have an addiction..
.. And I can see that now. That addiction is in the form of a man. A man who has treated me so so badly yet I cannot for the life of me seem to break the cycle. I love him. I love him too much. My last post showed some strength. He went to... Continue Reading →
A day without crying ?
I woke up yesterday with a sickness bug. I hate being sick. I hate it even more when I have no one around me to take care of me. It made me feel emotional, I couldn't believe it was now entering the fourth day without contact with the ex. How was he feeling?! Does he... Continue Reading →
How am I feeling?
The question on all my friends and families lips right now... how do you answer such a question when each hour my feelings change so much ? I feel weak, then remind myself what he's put me through and realise weak I am definitely not. My world was falling apart when my baby was just... Continue Reading →
I was desperate
So many emotions , so little calories consumed and many tears. He did come home after day 6, denying he was at the girls house. He came in at 2am, I stuck to my word and did not succumb to his sorrys and pleas. I would not fall for it again and have sex with... Continue Reading →
Woke up at my friends house and felt quite strong. I think it surprised her and we spoke about it. I agreed that him not having anyone made it easier but equally I've learnt from the last time! I went home about midday and I was greeted by the vile character again. Moaning how I... Continue Reading →
The first day I went over on my calories... I still ate less than 1500 but my exercise wasn't great and so I didn't have enough in the bank. I am already feeling slimmer though so this is fabulous! Ex came to see me today, oh how sorry he is, how he can't lose me,... Continue Reading →