So on Monday I’m presenting on the importance of boundaries yet I still have to question where the hell mine are!
I bought myself an iPad today, my mum put towards it and I’ve done the right thing. Not opened it up yet. I got my girls some matching Christmas pyjamas today too and that’s as far as I got with my Christmas shopping. I’ve had a good day, I put on a great front. No one would know that at 5am this morning I was struggling to sleep.
As I only got my WhatsApp back today (well early hours this morning) I had a message from a number I had not saved. It was the dude I met out last Saturday night. He asked when he was going to see me again. His WhatsApp status mentioned a wife. So I asked him out right and yes he’s married ! Apparently she knows what he gets up too. He’s a decent human, a CEO of a business but not content with his wife and boy. I’m not disappointed about it, it was never going to go anywhere. Surprised he even text but it just makes me think! I find it hard to believe any woman would be ‘ok’ with it. I believe many know their men stray but shut up. Especially if they are reliant on the mans money, how awful. I guess in one sense at least he was honest with me, he hasn’t done what my ex has done, lied about his other life and tried to manipulate me so I fall for him. He’s been completely upfront and that is what separates a man like him to a man like my ex. His wife would always come first, and his son… I am just a bit on the side. That isn’t what I need right now at all! He finished the conversation by saying ‘I guess I won’t be seeing you again then’ … hmmm probably not pal, probably not!
The conversation with the young one did die but today I noticed he had added a new pic on his tinder. Ok hands up I had done it before him but still, gosh the amount of bullshit he was chatting. He served me a purpose and that is ok but when will men STOP CHATTING BULLSHIT! First sign of an abusive relationship, a man acting like you are the best thing to ever walk into his life … red flag. Red flag!
This now brings me to the long term one. The one who was meant to be coming to see me today. As I said he’s been pretty rude for about the last 6 weeks far different to the man I knew at the beginning of the year. He’s been pushing my boundaries and today he has. Told me at 12 that he was waiting to hear from his sister so he knew what time he was going to leave, it’s now nearly 9. Originally when we planned this he said he would leave at 4pm. I need to tell him that it’s too fucking late now.
Yes I ask what is wrong with people! But me being me… I then ask am I just not good enough?
Oh well my cheese board is getting demolished then!