Posted in Challenge, Fitness, Heart, Heartbreak, Journey, lawstudent, love, Marathon, Mistakes, relationship, Running, weightloss

Day 2 and somewhat calmer .. 

I have calmed down, I should give him the benefit of the doubt really after all I’m going by a stupid Instagram post and knowing his cousin he just wants to show off. Although not quite sure what there is to show off about ‘trap money’ but hey. This being said I will talk to him about it of course but I cannot ignore what he has said to me, he wants a real job, a real career, a real family and his days of being on the streets are long gone. I guess I just fear the worst but can you blame me?

On a positive note I have decided to run the London marathon next year, well I have applied anyway, fingers crossed my chosen charity accepts me. It is a massive challenge but it is something I have always wanted to do and what better than to do it the year I am 30. The year my life has a new beginning with my soul mate home. 

Today I have consumed 1,330 calories, I did 8k earlier on the treadmill. Well it was interval training but believe me it put me through a right sweat. 1 minute brisk walk 1 minute sprint for 56 minutes. Determined to beat my 1hr 12 mins for this years 10k Race for Life. All this sexual frustration is coming to some use in my running 😉 

Posted in Challenge, Girltalk, Heart, Holiday, Ibiza, Journey, lawstudent, life, Lonely, love, Mistakes, prison, Prisoner, prisonwives, relationship, weightloss

I can’t deal with life today ..

The PVB Blues have hit me. I could do with a day in bed, away from the world. I definitely do not feel like I want to go to work. I am sat in McDonald’s with a coffee and have 7 minutes until I need to be in store. The breakfast snack wrap made me feel a bit better but I know tomorrow I will regret the junk I have eaten the past 2 days. I was doing so well! I knew seeing him would make me love him more, and I knew seeing him would make me step back and look at the bigger picture. I still have 8 months on my own and there is nothing I can do about it. I want him. Only him and I couldn’t move on even if I tried. I am grieving, all over again. I got to a point where I felt ok, I could deal with it, granted I was thinking I may be getting fed up of it all but now I feel like I am at square 1. How the hell did I get through the last 8 months?! This should be the easier 8 months. Lord give me strength! 

Now I am in store I am sitting in the staff room trying to find the motivation to go and do what I am being paid to do. I think food and treats will be the on,y way to get through this weekend then from Monday its the 10 week countdown!! Ibiza time!! Not only do I want to look and feel fabulous but having that as a focus will help my mind set, my mood and my tired levels. 

Right lets being do this. I am strong!