There was a post from a lady on one of the domestic abuse groups I'm in. I could so relate "I've told him it's over, but he's in prison and he's ringing me telling me he loves me and he will change." Been there done that! The way the do it is soooo convincing. Every... Continue Reading →
What ifs ..
Once again I fell asleep in the evening and have woke up feeling meh. I've been awake an hour and I've just been feeling really negative. So I need to switch that up! The negatives is of course him, and also the thinking of 'what ifs'. I would never ever wish my daughter away, I... Continue Reading →
Back to reality!
Omg it hurt. It was dark when I woke, and I felt so tired all day. I have won at no caffeine ✅ but my steps are low - less than 5,000 ! Bad! I need to get back to loving the gym. It's hard when it's so dark, and so so cold. I have... Continue Reading →
My 2018 New Years Resolutions
So here we are 1st January 2018, a fun night was had and today as been a major 'not giving a damn day.' (I haven't even brushed my hair) Anyways I aim to set some resolutions and to make me accountable I am listing them in this blog. Cut out caffeine/Drink more water - I... Continue Reading →
Getting there ..
Last night I couldn't believe the difference a week had made. I saw him yesterday but I stayed very strong. The week before I was still waiting on him to move heaven on earth for me after yet another cheating episode. Then when it got to the evening and I knew he went back to... Continue Reading →
How am I feeling?
The question on all my friends and families lips right now... how do you answer such a question when each hour my feelings change so much ? I feel weak, then remind myself what he's put me through and realise weak I am definitely not. My world was falling apart when my baby was just... Continue Reading →
I was desperate
So many emotions , so little calories consumed and many tears. He did come home after day 6, denying he was at the girls house. He came in at 2am, I stuck to my word and did not succumb to his sorrys and pleas. I would not fall for it again and have sex with... Continue Reading →
Day 5
Woke up at my friends house and felt quite strong. I think it surprised her and we spoke about it. I agreed that him not having anyone made it easier but equally I've learnt from the last time! I went home about midday and I was greeted by the vile character again. Moaning how I... Continue Reading →
Day 4
The first day I went over on my calories... I still ate less than 1500 but my exercise wasn't great and so I didn't have enough in the bank. I am already feeling slimmer though so this is fabulous! Ex came to see me today, oh how sorry he is, how he can't lose me,... Continue Reading →
Day 3
I was a bit drunk to write this before I went to bed. I skipped dinner and went for the wine instead. 852 calories consumed in total and 7,151 steps. Amazing what stress and anxiety has done for my diet! So my gut was correct. The last 2 weeks he was cheating on me again!!... Continue Reading →
Behind These Bluest Eyes 