There was a post from a lady on one of the domestic abuse groups I'm in. I could so relate "I've told him it's over, but he's in prison and he's ringing me telling me he loves me and he will change." Been there done that! The way the do it is soooo convincing. Every... Continue Reading →
Oops I did it again …
.... I signed up to the half marathon in September! This time no one can get in the way of my training. It did actually pop into my head earlier about how unreliable he was. "Baby I got you, were a team, you are my world. 100% I will be there in the morning so... Continue Reading →
What ifs ..
Once again I fell asleep in the evening and have woke up feeling meh. I've been awake an hour and I've just been feeling really negative. So I need to switch that up! The negatives is of course him, and also the thinking of 'what ifs'. I would never ever wish my daughter away, I... Continue Reading →
Preparation, plan, focus!
I've only just started writing in my 2018 diary, transferring the stuff over from my old one to my new one. Today hasn't been as structured as I would have liked. I slept until late and before I knew it it was 2pm. I have applied for an extension on my essays, I'm hoping I... Continue Reading →
A Queen will always turn pain into power
I can't even explain how good it feels to not have that constant awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was wearing me down, wearing me down so bad. Imagine hearing the bull shit I love you's whilst still being disrespected and still hoping for the man to step up and be a... Continue Reading →
Focus on the Freedom!
This time it’s going to happen! I have changed my number. I have the police coming round this evening and an injunction is in the process of being served. This is done! The past 5-6 weeks have been very much like my last post. My head has been done for a very long time but... Continue Reading →
How am I feeling?
The question on all my friends and families lips right now... how do you answer such a question when each hour my feelings change so much ? I feel weak, then remind myself what he's put me through and realise weak I am definitely not. My world was falling apart when my baby was just... Continue Reading →
Day 5
Woke up at my friends house and felt quite strong. I think it surprised her and we spoke about it. I agreed that him not having anyone made it easier but equally I've learnt from the last time! I went home about midday and I was greeted by the vile character again. Moaning how I... Continue Reading →
Day 4
The first day I went over on my calories... I still ate less than 1500 but my exercise wasn't great and so I didn't have enough in the bank. I am already feeling slimmer though so this is fabulous! Ex came to see me today, oh how sorry he is, how he can't lose me,... Continue Reading →
Day 2
Successful day on plan. Amazed that I got on the scales for the first time since before my birthday and I had actually lost a pound. Not going to lie that helped greatly with my mood. Calories I consumed today was 1540 which is still under target according to my Fitbit. Exercise needs to be... Continue Reading →
Behind These Bluest Eyes 