I can’t deal with life today ..

The PVB Blues have hit me. I could do with a day in bed, away from the world. I definitely do not feel like I want to go to work. I am sat in McDonald’s with a coffee and have 7 minutes until I need to be in store. The breakfast snack wrap made me feel a bit better but I know tomorrow I will regret the junk I have eaten the past 2 days. I was doing so well! I knew seeing him would make me love him more, and I knew seeing him would make me step back and look at the bigger picture. I still have 8 months on my own and there is nothing I can do about it. I want him. Only him and I couldn’t move on even if I tried. I am grieving, all over again. I got to a point where I felt ok, I could deal with it, granted I was thinking I may be getting fed up of it all but now I feel like I am at square 1. How the hell did I get through the last 8 months?! This should be the easier 8 months. Lord give me strength! 

Now I am in store I am sitting in the staff room trying to find the motivation to go and do what I am being paid to do. I think food and treats will be the on,y way to get through this weekend then from Monday its the 10 week countdown!! Ibiza time!! Not only do I want to look and feel fabulous but having that as a focus will help my mind set, my mood and my tired levels. 

Right lets being do this. I am strong! 

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