Finally… I am in that happy place! I was 14 weeks yesterday according to my dating scan which pushed me 4 days ahead. Bit odd considering I always had a period like clockwork and 4 days ahead would mean conception a) a day before other half was even home and b) right when I wasn’t even fertile. I am adamant though that babies all grow at different rates even at this stage. Research suggests that theses scans can be +/- 4 days accurate on the EDD. So this baby was measuring CRL at 63.7mm going on my LMP I would have been 12 weeks 1 day. Sonographer said I was 12 weeks 5 days, I am still unsure as to whether she actually changed my EDD to 11th September or we will be keeping the official date of 15th September. I would rather the latter just because I want to avoid being induced at all costs!! I am still so adamant I am having a boy!
This last week my relationship has finally turned a corner, we are more in love than ever and he is working so hard for our baby. Getting a job has really changed him, changed his mood, relaxed me and generally just calmed the whole situation down. He didn’t start this job without drama though, and his first day he decided to come home at 7am, completely out of his mind on Wrey and Nephew with a shift due to start at 10am. I had no choice but to call his dad, he wasn’t listening to me, he wasn’t getting ready, he was talking about something that God knows what was going on in his head! It was a bad bad night, I didnt sleep, and it left me really unsure about our future. Luckily myself and his Dad pulled him together and he got to work. I was amazed he didn’t get escorted off the premises due to still being drunk and he actually stuck at it all week. 52 hours he did last week. Like I said its been really good for him. I think when a man cannot provide it drives them a little crazy especially when they have a pregnant girlfriend. Anyway this past week has been amazing, like a fairytale, I never thought I could feel this in love and feel so loved back. We have been through the worst experiences, where most relationships would have crumbled but we are stronger than ever and it feels amazing.
Now if only I could stop feeling so grossly oversized. I guess being in 2nd trimester its only normal to be showing now. I was hoping I would get away with it a little longer. I still have one pair of jeans I can just about get away with wearing, but my maternity jeans and leggings are soooo much more comfortable. I love that I am growing my little man (I am so sure we are team blue) but I do struggle with the changing body. Hunger has died down so I need to just begin to make healthier food choices, oh and keep drinking that water!! Constantly thirsty!! 6th April we have another scan, fingers crossed they will be able to see and confirm my suspicions of a little boy in there.
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Today has been awful and I can only hope that tomorrow is better. Obviously I wrote mid afternoon yesterday after I had realised what a dumbarse I had been with making my juices but I still felt ok. Evening struck and I realised I could no way stomach the purple thing (Ruby Tuesday) knowing the pineapple skin was in it. Instead I had some fruit. Then the 7pm juice I managed half. Dominic the forever supporting boyfriend drank what I couldn’t, even knowing about the pineapple skin, bless him. My sickness began after the half of juice and at around 11pm I was sick. Gross! Although hardly anything came up of course. I knew I needed something a little substantial before bed for any chance of juicing today, so I finished the evening on a strip of mackerel. Strange I know but curbed the sickness.
Despite getting myself to the gym every morning and completing a small run I still was not getting anywhere fast. I know tiny steps are best but when I gained this weight in such a short space of time, I want it gone in equally a short space of time. I found myself still constantly hungry and making bad food choices and just not able to put the God damn food down!!
Fitting right ? Well I think so! I was killing some time in Waterstones in the Self Help section and this book screamed out to me. I don’t need to buy it, the title says enough, and this photo has found it self permanently stuck to my phone. It helps. It makes me smile, it reminds me of my focus and my aim and that’s a positive.
Behind These Bluest Eyes 