...this is how I feel. This is how I felt pre abuse too. People like me are like gold mines for people like him. Low self esteem, low self worth, easy to get entangled inside our minds. I've had no iPhone all week and now it's gone off for repair. I have a replacement now... Continue Reading →
Working on me
Obviously the meme is a joke but I do really need to get myself back in the gym! Realistically it will probably be new year now but I am going to focus on making small changes until then. When I go through all that stress I barely eat then when I feel relatively content again... Continue Reading →
She set her boundaries and rebuilt her life
A week on Monday I am presenting my presentation on boundaries to a group of fellow networkers. I've distanced myself from reading all about narcissism and abuse for a few days. It got too much, and I felt I was reliving too much of the abuse. He's an abusive man there are no two ways... Continue Reading →
A Queen will always turn pain into power
I can't even explain how good it feels to not have that constant awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was wearing me down, wearing me down so bad. Imagine hearing the bull shit I love you's whilst still being disrespected and still hoping for the man to step up and be a... Continue Reading →
Starting to feel at peace
There has been times where I have dredded the weekends. Even when he was half in my life, the chaos and loneliness was mad. I definitely felt more lonely when he was in my life than now he isn't. I speak to M on the phone every evening and I have another for company too.... Continue Reading →
Aftermath of trauma..
I am struggling. It's all a process and ok I don't feel as angry (apart from with the stupid interfering skank who thinks she knows the man I've known 4 years) but I am suffering with my own thoughts. I spoke with M again last night. It's nice to talk to him but even that... Continue Reading →
I am better than this
I can't shake it from my head I want to badly to ring this fool and tell her to get her pointy nose out of my business! 2 months you've known him and he was sleeping with me the whole time yet you call him your 'partner'. You messed up individual! I am so so... Continue Reading →
This is just a rant ..
At times I can take a step back and analyse the situation. There is no doubt in my mind that my abuser is a extreme narcissist. It is so deep rooted that I don't even have to feel concerns that to everyone else he is respectful and honest because he isn't. He has no consideration... Continue Reading →
Empower me..
Only a quick one tonight, I had many thoughts going through my head today so I wanted to record them somewhere. Mostly some pointers for future blogs as right now I don't really have the time to go into them in depth. I wanted to talk about the 'other' side of my abuser. My previous... Continue Reading →
Reminding myself …
Today is a weird fucking day.. felt anxious and weird for most of it! It didn't help that I fell asleep early last night and woke up unable to sleep until like 2am! 5:45am my alarm was set and just got back in at 9:45pm!! Day in London on a course for work, traffic was... Continue Reading →
Behind These Bluest Eyes 