Category: Diet

Posted in alone, baby, Detox, Diet, exercise, Fitness, Heartbreak, life, Lonely, Mistakes, mother, Newborn, Parenting, pregnancy, pregnant, relationship, Uncategorized, Weight, weightloss, Women

Diet time! 

Posted on by KerryLouise

I I really need my confidence back, I need my body back. This picture shows how much confidence I did have. I did well for a week and then I kind of went off plan. I’m about to go serious now though .. 

20 days until my birthday and my first proper night out! If I haven’t lost a stone I won’t be happy! 

Thursday night we saw Dom, he was actually on time but acting off and cold. That act drives me mad. He accused me of taking his phone. I ain’t interested in his phone .. then he gets mad when I get mad regarding the accusations. He then goes off on one saying ‘I don’t want her and right now I don’t want you’ .. I break him down before he goes though. He cries before he leaves and he jokes about how I’m not allowed to talk to anyone or date anyone 🙄

Friday we had a really great day. I made the effort to not mention ‘us’ , I was so annoyed with myself the night before for doing so. He bought it up first saying how much he loves us both, how he doesn’t want anyone else. It was flirty, it was fun. This is the Dominic that makes me insanely happy. 

Since then we haven’t argued but he has been too busy to see us. I haven’t reacted YET but it has reminded me of his lifestyle and how even without the cheating thing he wound me up and hurt me. All this stuff that was meant to stop when baby was here clearly hasn’t and is not about too. This stuff wasn’t about ‘revenge’ this is just him! If he was still living with me it wouldn’t be as bad but he needs to watch it because yes I love him but showing me this side still won’t keep me wanting him. Why do we always want men who keep us on our toes ? If it was easy I would get bored .. guaranteed! What a mess! 

Anyway .. today is Sunday. Weird day to start a diet but another day off plan could put more weight on! I have meal replacements and I know this works! It works so well, done it many times before! 

On this 💪🏼

Posted in baby, Challenge, Cleanse, Detox, Diet, Fitness, Uncategorized, Weigh, Weight, weightloss

I’ve been so rubbish ..

Posted on by KerryLouise

Diet!! Meh !!! 

Food!! Meh !!!

Still chunky !!!!!! Meh!! 

My last post I promised 40 days well yeh that didn’t happen! I then put on instagram 21 days (till a night out) and that hasn’t happened. So now I’m nearly day 1 down of it actually happening .. 

No Junk Food, No Wheat, No Sugar ! No gluten free substitutes either!

I really do need to crack on with this now or come January 1st I’m going to find myself looking worse than I did a month ago! 

I’m taking my start weight as 14 stone 2, 2 stone heavier than my pre pregnancy weight. OH is getting tired of hearing me say ‘diet starts tomorrow’ and to be honest SO AM I! 

Things are good in my relationship but I know with me feeling better about myself it could still be better. I’m still feeling vulnerable, my mind still works overtime at times and although he still calls me beautiful and our sex life is good I know deep down he would love to see me comfortable in my own skin again! 

I cannot believe my baby is 11 weeks today and wow what an 11 weeks! She also slept from 9:30pm – 8am last night , such a good little girl ! 

Posted in baby, Challenge, Cleanse, Detox, Diet, exercise, Fitness, Journey, love, Mistakes, relationship, relationships, Uncategorized, Weight, weightloss

Day 1/40

Posted on by KerryLouise

So there’s 40 days left of this year and after doing so well with my diet I then went way off the rails over my birthday weekend. My weight loss stood at 2 stone 3 lbs, weighing in at 14 stone 2. Exactly 2 stone heavier than I was this time last year. I’m not weighing myself now until Christmas Eve!! 

I haven’t updated my blog in a while and I do need to fill in the gaps. All that needs to be said now is .. my man is back home. He’s back to being amazing, and loving. The man I know he can be. I see him with our daughter and my heart bursts with love. I actually don’t know how I got through 4 weeks of knowing he was with someone else!! Crazy!! 

I’m feeling crappy today. My first period in 11 months is proving to be hellish and I’m feeling a little run down. I would love to just eat rubbish but it’s just a vicious circle. Dominic is out playing pool and knowing I’m feeling crappy he text me saying ‘hope you’re feeling ok’, crazy to think that 5 weeks ago he didn’t seem to even think about me. Although he has later admitted that was never the case.

Baby Ariana is gorgeous! Trying tonight to get her into more of a routine since I’m not breastfeeding as much anymore. I can hear her talking to herself in her crib but she’s there and she’s been there since 8:30pm. Hoping to have mastered that by New Year and also my 8 year old ! Far too many late nights for her! 

Breakfast: Granola and milk (was meant to use almond milk but was in auto pilot)

Lunch: chicken drumsticks

Dinner: rice and lamb curry leftover from what Dom made last night 

Snacks: Banana, apple, cereal bar, olives

Drinks: Detox tea (must drink more water) 

Exercise: None

Cigarettes: 2!!! (Bad) 

Posted in baby, cheat, Deceit, Diet, Heart, Heartbreak, Uncategorized

Man up!!

Posted on by KerryLouise

Baby woke me up as she needed feeding. Last night she woke every 2 hours but we both went back off straight away. It’s 2:30am and I’m now wide awake. I’m starving! A banana will have to do.

I’ve worked out that it’s now been 4 weeks. 4 weeks on Friday of Dom telling me how he doesn’t want her, and how he needs to get rid of her. I read back to the first post when I wrote how I knew he wouldn’t do it straight away but 4 weeks is taking the piss! I know a good chunk of that time he was saying he didn’t want me either but still! 

He come in tonight and again kissing me, telling me it’s me he wants. (He was bloody early too.) How it was just a situation where he was getting back at me but he’s not doing that anymore. I believe him at the time but when he’s not around I don’t. I really don’t. Then I try and think logical here, why put up with the stress from both of us? Surely he’s fucking tired of it too. Having her moan about being with me (well sorry love but you should have seen that coming) constantly whining about comments he makes like how he’s buying me a birthday present and me telling him I AM NOT WAITING around forever. Tonight I said how I will go with someone else if I find out he’s still sleeping with her, he held me and said to please not do that to him. As he left after our playfulness and love he promises he’s going to stay over tomorrow night to which I said he has a week to get his shit out of hers and get rid of her properly or I’m gone. He once again said ok.

Now at silly o’clock in the morning I’m thinking no! Not a week! Why should I give him a week?! He’s had long enough. She may not have respect for herself but allowing this man to walk all over her, and I certainly too haven’t shown that respect for myself but I will. To be honest this is the first time since Friday I’ve questioned his commitment to us again, obviously I’ve been waiting for it to happen. I can imagine what he’s said to her since he didn’t answer my phone call or text tonight after he left. ‘Ahh I’m so sorry babe for the pictures of me playing happy families with my baby mum I’ll stay with you tonight’ 🙄 roll eyes. 

Even if he’s not with her I’m going to continue having this feeling until he finally moves home. It’s not healthy. She did share some new bullshit quote tonight about ‘never finding another her’ so have to try and take that as comfort that he’s not acting all lovey Dovey with her still. 

This is ridiculous!! 

Posted in alone, Beauty, cheat, Detox, Diet, exercise, Fitness, Heartbreak, love, pregnant, relationship, relationships, sex, Uncategorized, Weigh, Weight, weightloss, Women

Ready for day 3

Posted on by KerryLouise

Ok day 1 went , soup, chicken and fruit! Then day 2 was fruit, meal replacement and a jacket potato. I did have a sweetie lolly and a Dr Pepper too tho 🙈! 

We had a Halloween get together at my friends house. It was nice to have Dom there, I’m still feeling a little dubious this morning though. 

Sunday he called me late on after I had been trying him all day. I didn’t send abuse, although I did have a message ready if needed. He straight away was like ‘babe don’t go mad’ and basically had thought he had lost his phone but his friend had it. He came to see us in the evening and straight away is warm, friendly and just acting like we’re in love. He stays until nearly 2am. Tells me he’s coming back first thing as not at work … I know that doesn’t happen but for some reason I’m a lot calmer with him and it’s working. 

He’s comes around 2pm after I woke him at 12:30 and even answered the phone calling me his sugar dumpling. I mean what name is that … ha but trust me it’s a lot nicer than some of the things he’s called me. 

She’s still ringing him though and realistically I don’t actually know what he’s saying to her. She has shared some interesting quotes on Facebook though which indicates she’s hurting. Well more fool her she knew what she was getting in to. 

He said last night he’s gonna move back new year , fresh start and all that. I understand how he’s reluctant in bringing his clothes here again and he also thinks not rushing back into anything is the way forward. I somewhat agree. If she wasn’t on the scene I would be totally ok with it but I’m constantly thinking oh he’s with her… which is bound to be the case ey. 

I’m seeing him later and I do need to be firmer, stronger and wiser !! 

Posted in alone, baby, breastfeeding, Deceit, Detox, Diet, Heart, Heartbreak, relationship, relationships, Singlemum, Strength, Uncategorized, weightloss, Women

So lucky … 

Posted on by KerryLouise

I went to bed last night at 10pm so this post had to wait until this morning. I woke up yesterday still thinking about it, of course I will. He’s been in my life far too long and we’ve been through far too much to give up. I went over old blog posts and his letters again, a reminder of how bad I had it when he first went. I couldn’t help but cry. 

Today was meant to be the last day with my car. I’ve had my car for 2 years now and I was originally completely ok about having to get the bus for a while. It finally hit me today … ‘I can’t not have a car.’ I was feeling super anxious about it, I need my independence especially with the current set up! After looking online at second hand cars, it worked out the better option to buy the car from the lease company. I feel so lucky I have had that support from my mum and step dad. It really picked up my mood and I was so happy to still have my car. 

I called Dominic to tell him. He was happy for me too, he said how he walked past mine earlier and so wished I was in. The conversation saw him call me amazing and again tell me how much he loves me. Letting him realise on his own that the grass isn’t greener is working better and sooner than I thought. It probably makes absolutely no sense to anyone but I know what I’m doing.

I weighed myself, only a pound and a half weight loss. What rubbish ! My nan even commented about how slim I was getting and joked about how she wished she could disappear like I am lol but the scales didn’t show this! I then had a bad day, pasta, white bread, sweets and chocolate! 

New day today ! 💪🏼

Posted in alone, baby, breastfeeding, cheat, Deceit, Diet, Heart, Heartbreak, Lonely, love, Mistakes, relationship, relationships, Singlemum, Strength, Uncategorized

Baby’s first cinema trip 

Posted on by KerryLouise

My little cutie went to the cinema for the first time today. Good as gold as per usual. My sister had to change a very explosive nappy though and she did feed on both boobs. She’s still a little angel. 

Her daddy text in the afternoon asking how we both were. He said he wasn’t coming straight from work, that’s fine I replied and when he called you could tell he didn’t understand my relaxed attitude when I said I had made new plans too. I don’t want to stop him from seeing us but if he can’t stick to a time then that gives me the option to be unavailable and can keep him at a distance. He needs to miss us. 

We spoke later on and he mentioned how he had been talking with someone from work who said how I must be lonely. He never wanted me to feel lonely or unloved apparently. It’s inevitable though and I just commented that I’m used to being alone, I just miss him. It was a pleasant phone call and I feel ok. Sometimes my mind wanders and I think about him with her and all the lies and deceit but that does me no favours and I’m only punishing myself. 

 I sent him some words to think about … 


Tomorrow I weigh myself. Last Wednesday I began a no gluten or sugar diet and I’ve found it pretty easy. Today I had sugar though at the cinema but hey ho. Can’t be perfect. I’ve had two comments today about weight loss and I am definitely feeling more confident in myself. 

Literally buzzing for a night out with my friends on my birthday. Ordered a dress last night and I cannot wait to get fully dressed up again. Fingers crossed I just feel super fabulous by then ❤️

Posted in 14weekspregnant, Diet, exercise, pregnancy, PregnancyJourney, pregnant, SecondTrimester, training

Reality check…

Posted on by KerryLouise

imageOk SO I got on the scales. The scales at the gym too which I am so sure are very generous and well… It wasn’t nice. Over a stone heavier than what I was when I was training last summer. People do comment about how I don’t look any different but that’s because the weight is distibuted everywhere. Even my blinking face!!

I knew last night I had a battle already on my hands, looking at old pictures already and comparing it to now. This one in particular , I feel so frumpy, something I just did not want to happen! I have 26 weeks left of this pregnancy and I refuse to hate it as much as I do now! So that is why this morning I got in the gym. I did 40 mins of CV but plan to do that regularly.

The hunger really has subsided. Cereal for breakfast, salad for lunch, and a chicken salad for dinner. I had a packet of salt & vinegar mccoys as a snack and had half an easter egg this evening. Trust me when I say compared to my recent appetite and pig like ways this is GOOD!

I don’t want to be hiding in the my house this summer because I feel like I shouldn’t be seen in public!

Operation fit, healthy and happy pregnancy is on! 🙂

Posted in Diet, pregnancy, pregnant, Uncategorized

A sad day!

Posted on by KerryLouise

I think I can well and truly say goodbye to my jeans now. My black work jeans dug in so much at the cinema last night and they were BIG for me before Christmas!! I said goodbye already to a couple of pairs of size 10 jean jeans already, meaning they are not the stretchy kind. Not a chance will they do up now. I have a pair of high waisted that are nice and roomy usually but even those I can’t imagine will fit me much longer . The jeans I wore today again are my ‘fat jeans’, they were so uncomfortable, just wouldn’t stay up and make my thighs look stupidly LARGE!! So today I bought some leggings, I looked at the maternity section and refused. The normal section is just fine for now, I’m not ready for that sort of commitment just yet! I’m hoping it’s mainly bloat and also how much I’ve been eating. Today I haven’t felt as hungry as previous days, fingers crossed it subsides. Felt pretty rubbish today too, like out of breath and lethargic! Pregnancy sucks!

Saturday night though, and all there is for me and the boy is TV. Oh TV and food ;-).

Posted in Diet, exercise, pregnancy, pregnant, Uncategorized

10 weeks pregnant !

Posted on by KerryLouise

It’s almost been a week since we had our reassurance scan, scan was showing that everything was fine. I had another bleed that evening but I’ve put it down to stress related. I have got my self in some right states and it can’t be good on the baby. Other half has learnt this weekend what makes me go and I have some calming down to do. Granted our situation isn’t the easiest and we have a lot of learning to do regarding each other’s ways. He has some sorting out to do in his own head as well regarding some events that happened during his time away. However it seems we have now turned a corner, fingers crossed!

Now for the pregnancy bit! I’m so fucking hungry all the bloody time! The swear word is there to emphasis how hungry I’ve actually been! I have eaten far too much recently it is not OK! I attempted to start a fresh today , monitor my calorie intake. I do not dare weigh myself but from next week I will, to keep on top of it! So my attempt didn’t go so badly , 2100 calories but that’s not including the food I pinched from my boyfriends plate when he had dinner later than me. I’m 5ft 9 and my pre pregnancy weight was 12 stone 2. My fitness pal app thinks to lose 0.5lb a week I can eat 2000 calories so around this figure isn’t so bad. Obviously I have gained with it just being Christmas as well as pregnancy so I am battling with holiday weight too! I do hope this appetite subsides, it’s actually unbearable ! 9pm and I could murder some cheese and biscuits!!